attn: redux especially.

Greeeeaaaat quotes within, including:

"Are you Sure I'm a tiger? I don't feel very much like a tiger. Maybe I'm just a vicious ass koala bear, did you ever investigate that?"

and

"I feel like if you raise a child, at any age, that's dumb enough to climb into a tiger's cage, you should tell them the rest of the goddamn story. And then the tiger eat your asshole out, baby, that's the end."

mood: haw haw

A photo where you're wearing your favorite color::



( here there be tigers. )

mood: need

I have this song:



stuck almost endlessly in my head (also, that is now what I would literally kill a person to see a show of. And no, not just Dethklok, but them in a huge rocket-metal-as-fuck-but-still-ultimately-a-gamers-dice-thingy going up and up and up and me on a floaty thing next to them, the clouds all burning and glorious... no, I don't want much. and, for the not-really record, that shit is fucking Brutally Awesome. So. Fucking. Metal. And Erika, Tell Andrew right about now I'm missing hanging out with him drinking beer and listing to metal. With various why-the-economy-is-fucked-chats thrown in there, and the importance of freedom...*sigh* God, it would be fun to watch metalocaplyse with him... greatness runs strong in yer family blood, mon cheri)

BUUUUUT, alternating with that song is this song:



go fucking figure. My head is a very weird place to be right now, as I am also reading Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite (ohohohohoh!!! no one here will care, but there was a HILARIOUS part, where these three vampires turn in their rape-murder-death-van [with it's utterly rancid mattress in the back that is clotted with gore] to a valet, and as they hand the keys to him they say, "And I want THIS van back, not some pussy Volvo." HAHAHAH! Edward, from twilight, drives a volvo and I still wonder if maybe Poppy didn't go back and edit her book right there, just to say fuck you to twilight. Yes, I still love twilight, but that shit is hilarious and I love a great joke. Just as I can love all different kinds of people, I love all different kinds of vampires, and Edward and the trio from Lost Souls are about as polar as opposites can be. Edward is the fluffy little sad eyed kitteh, and the trio from Lost Souls are the mutant-razor-toothed-cthulu nibbling and batting at the kittens soft belly. I'm still laughing. Obviously.)

So yes, very weird in my head right now. Oh, and goodness, I'm watching the new season of Dexter-very good, I must say- and by god if my man didn't just get me into the new bond movies (Holy. Of. Holies. Le Chiffre is FUCKING GORGEOUS. I mean, just look at him:




Yeah, and he cries fucking blood... good lord. Also, funny thing, he uses an inhaler. For a good reason I really dig that.

Also, definitely digging the new brutal Bond. I never liked the bond franchise for the fact that he could kill anyone, sure, but there was never any blood. No bruises, no brutality. Fuckin' Casino Royale starts off with Bond beating the holy living hell outta man with his bare fuckin hands, and then he gives the corpse that look that says, Damn, it's good to be the stronger lion. Alllllright, I said to myself. I can work with this...

Back to reading. Wow. I just ranted for awhile...

mood: brutal

It's simple, meaningless garbage. The plot is mostly predictable and gushy to the point of bursting.

And I love them. I'm even, yes oh yes, going to get me some twilight tattoos. I love them THAT much.

Because it's a simple story, it's easy to escape into. It's written for young adults, and most people forget that, so it's easy to understand and purposely relates to the lowest common denominator in this particular genre (of crap.) But, It's vivid, and if you were ever one of those children who ran around in her backyard dreaming day in and day out of vampires and endless love, well, then this sings to you.

Now, I guess the title of this entry is misleading, since I AM ultimately all for people having their own opinions and feeling passionately about whatever they want. But really, in a day and age such as this one, where our freedoms are slipping through our (actually open) hands, a book series? THAT'S what you choose to feel passionately about? Fuuuuck that.

And another thing that pisses me off is the things that people choose to hate about the series. It's anti feminist, they say. It's an affront to literature, they say. He's obsessive and jealous, they say (okay, they have a point there.)

Well, by god, We've let Britney Spears prance around for years, haven't we? Give me a fucking break, people.

The truth is, it's NOT anti-feminist. Yes, I do say that. And here's why: she's doing what she wants to. THAT, my friends, is the REAL basis of feminist thought, OR IT SHOULD BE, that women should have the fucking freedom to do as they please. If they Want to walk around barefoot and pregnant, or be beaten when they have sex, they Should have the freedom to do so, just as they ought to have the freedom to wear the pants in the family, if they so choose.

Edward never once stops Bella from doing what she wants. He tries, yes, but does he succeed? N. O. And, for the record, when he does try to stop her from doing something, it is ONLY out of the fear that she will be endangering herself. Well, yes, there's a bit of jealousy too. But, it's not the main motivator.

To stray from the thought for a bit, another thing I really like about the series is the unique vampires. Never before have vampires been such as these are. Yes, the sparkling thing drives people crazy. But, the reason they sparkle interests me. They sparkle from the fluid that keeps them able to move (its like a lubricant between their rock hard molecules, and that lubricant is also flameable) and, like everything else about these vampires, it's also an attractant. This way they don't have to work so hard to kill people. They smell good, they look good and they sound good. Personally, again as a girl that always dreamed of a vampire mate, I Fucking Love That.

I could go on and on like this, but I won't. For your sake. My main point, again, is just this:

Really, in this day and age, you can pick Much better things to get angry about, okay?

*and, thi is not to any of my friends on here, by the way. I was just looking on deviantart, and saw some anti-Twilight shit and it got me started.

mood: chill.

Two years ago today my very best friend in the whole wide world, my momma lovely, passed on. She really was something... something truly fine in a world full of crap. Now, this is of course not to say or even imply that she was without flaw; she was about as flawed as they come, and this is what actually made her more human than human. She was larger than anything I will ever find, and as long as I live I don't think I will ever see an end to the growth of my understanding of her endlessness. Least, I hope not.

Her heart, her capacity for love and forgiveness was unlike anything I've ever known, and if I could have any trait, I would love to have her compassion for my fellow human, to have her endless soul that only wanted to give the world a hug, and forgive it anything (except hurting me). She was one of a kind.

And, as I've said before, she was the one person in this world that could truly love me unconditionally. That is something very special, and I miss it. But it's okay. Everything really is okay, and though I think I'll hurt forever, ache, I do gain with every passing day more abilities to withstand it, new capacities within myself. And, for that I am also grateful.

Even in death she continues to help me.

So, every year at this time I make a promise to her & to myself to do something to better myself, as her favorite thing in the whole entire world was me, and bettering my situation. Last year, the first full passing year, I swore to work on my drinking and make it not such a awful problem.

Well, friends, it worked! Now I don't even really find the urge to drink (and certainly not to get drunk), and though I may have one shot of this very lovely scotch that we have around us, I don't at all feel the need to get smashed, or to numb myself today. I'm hurting, yes, my god oh yes, but I am going to embrace this pain and get through it with the help of my lovely man, instead of a bottle.

I am extremely proud of this, and getting here took no small amount of effort, but my goodness it is worth it. It's so wonderful to not wake up every day so hungover I want to take a hammer to my head, or so hungover that I have to do hair of the dog to even function. Ugh. Definitely don't miss being a bitch to everyone and making a damn fool of myself, either.

So this year I am making the promise that I am going to make an actual effort to sell my art, any of my art. I've been talking about it and talking about it, and this year I am going to do the damn thing. I'm going to get myself out there, whether the world likes it or not.

Alright, I am going to close this now, but I just want to end this on this note: I love you all, and hope that you're all doing well and having a good year (and if you aren't, I hope things turn and get better, with all my heart.) Thanks for being my friends, y'all.

mood: so so so tired ohhh

so, just now as I went out to smoke and read (I am finally getting around to reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy - I have an issue or fifty with reading fantasy, so that's why it's taken me awhile to get here - and I look to my left and there is Bubba (the resident alpha outdoor kitty DeFoor) approaching, growling as he does so, with something dangling from his mouth.

He was growling, by the way, at this little orange male that I have taken to feeding, because he reminds me of my mother - a scrappy, homeless, loving & crazy (he'll let me pet him a little now, after much work to get to this point, but he'll turn and nibble at my hand quite often, with no provocation) little thing...

So, at any rate, Bubba climbs up on the porch, right in front of me which also happens to be the doorstep, and sits down there with his fresh kill, which is a beautiful little...
( behind a cut so you don't have to read it, redux, or anyone else who might not want to read it for the gorey bits, especially you liz, with your new pet in mind... but yes, redux, you can guess what the kill was - a giraffe! ;) )

mood: none but ourselves

I JUST FINALLY FOUND, AFTER SO MANY YEARS OF SEARCHING, THE SUNGLASSES I LOVE THE MOST IN THE WORLD -I got my first pair when I was a cute little teenie punk, a mere 12 years old, and they are awesome and they look like this:





AND I COULDN'T FIND THEM AFTER I WAS 17-because these also happen to be the things that ran away from me whenever they could, or got brokened-AND HOLY SHIT IT TURNS OUT THAT THE ONES I LOVE WERE ACTUALLY A KNOCK OFF OF A BRAND NAMED KD'S, BIKER SUNGLASSES (they fit well under a helmet, and the side arm of the shades is small so it doesn't obstruct your view), AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE KD STANDS FOR?

KOOL DADDIES.</h1>

OMGOTRJSDKLGFJ:KL:!!!! I AM HAPPY TIMES $#*%(#$#()$&878905289590-9=0432=-*&R_&R)(890 78788790!~!!!!s bajillzillmillkagillwowiilllions!

Wooooooooooooo!!!

mood: fuckin elated!

(but made public, so all of you can check out this lovely book too)

get your hands on
"Baked: New Frontiers in Baking" by Matt Lewis and Renato Poliafito.

oooooh, and all of you should go make some puppy chow:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup Peanut Butter
1/4 cup Butter
1 cup Chocolate Chips
1/2 tsp. Vanilla
9 cups Crispix cereal (any flavor)
1-1/2 cups Powdered Sugar

Instructions:

1. Combine peanut butter, butter and chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl.

2. Microwave for one minute then stir to blend all ingredients thoroughly. Add 1/2 tsp. vanilla. Stir well.

3. Place the 9 cups of Crispix cereal in a very large bowl.

4. Pour the peanut butter-chocolate mixture over the cereal and toss evenly, making sure all the cereal gets a good covering.

5. Coat with powdered sugar, sprinkling evenly over the cereal and tossing as you sprinkle to cover each piece well.

6. (added by me) Then you YUMMMM IT!


seriously, though, this stuff is INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS, Terribly easy to make, and a great great thing all around. I'm making some tomorrow!

mood: gonna bake

oh. my. lawd.

you guys... this shit is a.maze.ing. like whoa.

http://lab.andre-michelle.com/tonematrix

go there. click on random boxes. be addicted.

♥

mood: whooooaaa

For one week, recommend/share:

* Day one: a song.
* Day two: a picture.
* Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic.
* Day four: a site.
* Day five: a YouTube clip.
* Day six: a quote.

"I hope this softens you towards the world. I hope it leaves you with a tender feeling."
-from the Secret Life of Bees, which is a very good book.
Aaaaand, because I can never stop at just one quote:

"No braceleted ankle or can-can leg was ever as erotic as the shame you showed me in that doorway, darling. And with a great relief, everthing was just as it had been before, or greater, because all at once it came rushing back--the ice in the heart, the bell in the brain--the terror of wanting you."
-Confessions of Max Tivoli

"I've been doing my part to save the trees. I've been making a map of my
city, a map of every tree that ever meant anything to me. The tree
closest to where I first kissed someone. I measured. The tree closest
to where my brother had his foot crushed in a gate and I was terrified.
The tree we buried my first dog under. The tree closest to where I
first played Nintendo. All of the most important trees are on this map
of my city. And I'm going to check in with them once a month. This is a
different sort of environmentalism. These trees are my family, and god
help the motherfucker who cuts one of them down. There will be no
picketing, no petitions. There will be violence."

-Joey, of the A Softer World crew

"Though it's odd, you're never more alive than when you're almost dead. you recognize what's valuable. Freshly, as if for the first time, you love what's best in yourself and the world, all that might be lost. At the hour of dusk you sit at your foxhole and look out on a wide river turning pinkish red, and the mountains beyond, and although in the morning you must cross the river and go into the mountains and do terrible things and maybe die, you find yourself studying the fine colors on the river, you feel wonder and awe at the settting of the sun, and you are filled with a hard, aching love for how the world could be and always should be, but now is not."
-The Things They Carried

And one last one, and then I'll make myself stop; but know this, I could go on until I fell asleep, dead at this keyboard...

"I wish I could have told the man...
that his sweat smelled tasty.
I guess he'd been sucking
on a peppermint drop beforehand.
Now it's stinging in my lungs.
And then he cried.
But I don't think he was really sad.
I felt that if a person wasn't alone,
they might be able to find happiness
in the outside world...
if someone like him was around.


And then there was this tunnel."

-The Princess and the Warrior, an awesome german film. The scene is this: a woman gets hit by a truck, and then this man climbs under and saves her by giving her an impromtu tracheotomy. It's adorable. Oh, and that 'outside world' bit, well, she lives & works in an insane asylum. Great film.


* Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy.

mood: thinking.

For one week, recommend/share:

* Day one: a song.
* Day two: a picture.
* Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic.
* Day four: a site.
http://www.nobodyhere.com

This website is totally weird, and also totally fun. I used to spend lots & lots of time there, because there are so many things to find... enjoy!

* Day five: a YouTube clip.

It's a really cute video, and th only one I can think of-as ridiculous as it is, I just woke up... it's like, 7PM. Ugh.

Enjoy!

Now, I think it's only been two days... and I'll post the third soon...
* Day six: a quote.
* Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy.

mood: if you want to sing out...

For one week, recommend/share:

* Day one: a song.
* Day two: a picture.
* Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic.

Well, goodness. There are oh so many books that I love and adore,

( for the sake of people with large f-lists~ )

mood: won't you help to sing...

For one week, recommend/share:

* Day one: a song.
* Day two: a picture.


Bettie Page used to disappear, days or weeks at a time. Turns out she was in Brazil, or some other South American country, dancing. That's right, dancing, for days on end.

I find this beautifully inspirational. She's a hero to me in so many ways.

* Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic.
* Day four: a site.
* Day five: a YouTube clip.
* Day six: a quote.
* Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy.

mood: tired

For one week, recommend/share:

* Day one: a song.

So, now I share a song by Otis and the Rufies. It's off of their latest album, and it's called Attack 3 (Lost at Sea). It's Fucking Awesome, and it's beautiful. I share it with you because I love you. All of you. And if you want more, there is more where that came from. ♥

http://www.mediafire.com/?nn4r0criy2m


* Day two: a picture.
* Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic.
* Day four: a site.
* Day five: a YouTube clip.
* Day six: a quote.
* Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy.

mood: it's alright.

...redux, this means you.

http://fora.tv/2008/12/12/MythBusters_Co-Host_Adam_Savage_on_Obsession

So, I read fark.com quite often, as it usually has safe (re: not terrible and awful and utterly horrific news, like, say, cnn) news for me to laugh at. Not so much tonight.

First, I read an article that is pretty much good, it's about medical marijuana for the elderly, and how this retirement community has started gathering a non-profit collective to grow and make it more accessible to the elderly around them. Great. But, of course, it had to point out that under California state law, some of them still could get jailed, even though it IS legal there to have, buy and/or grow, for personal use, marijuana with a doctor's recommendation. What a bummer, man! It should be legal everywhere, for everyone, NO MATTER WHAT. Alcohol is the thing that should be outlawed, if anything (though, of course, I am all for leaving everything to the hands of the user; they should be able to make their own damn choices about their own damn life. It's called logic, people, and it will help you in the future. Or, you know, right now.)

Then I read an article about (though 'read' is really not the right term, 'skimmed' is more like it, because it just irritated me too much) Kansas tight-asses wanting to make sure adult stores close after midnight and until six am. What, because you want it to be open when your kids are getting up and heading for school? Give me a fucking break.

And then I read (again, skimmed) an article about how some people made protest signs for Obama's visit to their town hall that said, "Death To Obama" and "Death to Michelle and their two stupid kids." Kids, for fucks sake. Well fuck me runnin'. I mean, really? Are we really to that point, people? I mean, I didn't vote for the guy, but he's a damn sight better than what we had going on. And beyond that, even if he were totally shitty at his job (well, "were" might be the wrong term there, in my opinion, but that is still not the point) he is still a human being. Where the fuck has our collective heart gone? And why don't these assholes ever hold up signs like, "Death to child molesters." or, "Death to rapists" huh?

I dunno. It just... it hurts, is all. Luckily, I'm totally tough and badass, and beyond excited and happy about how awesome my life is all the time now that I choose for it to be such, and it takes a lot more than that to fuck me over. Still, though, it's really kind of pathetic, the state of our collective subconscious. Something needs to be done, and fast.

Oh, and hey, I love all you guys. I hope you're diggin on some life too. ♥

mood: none but ourselves can...

"So you see, Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you,"

-Stephenie Meyer, twilight outtakes

(yeah, I'm totally obsessed. So what.)

So, I was just reading this article written by a guy who did this thing called 'remote ownership' of a pig for him and his family. What this is: He "buys" a pig and pays a monthly fee for its' care and food, and then this farm raises it and gives it to him when its' ready to be slaughtered. It's an awesome cheap way to ensure that you have healthy yummy pork products for a long long time.

So, he found out about this by wandering around a farmers market with his family, and then they all picked out a little piglet together and bought it. His children at the time were about ten (his son) and three (his daughter). Both of his children knew full well what they were buying the pig for, as he and his wife educated them on the source of all of their foods, as I think is only fair. They went and visited the pig frequently, as if it were a sort of 'feild-trip' experiance. I think this kicks ass, seriously. When they left once, his daughter said, "When we eat Spidey, we can eat all of him but not his nose," and I think this is also awesome. And yes, the pigs' full name is Spideypig Curly Bacon, because as the father puts it: "My children - then nine and three - chose the name. I was glad, because in it lay the story of the pig's ultimate fate. I wanted to avoid misunderstandings come slaughter-time."

Well, when he wrote an article about this he got emails from several people freaking out. As he puts it: "They emailed to say I was an "out-of-touch elitist", denying people the chance to eat cheap pork, and "twisted" for exposing my children to the brutal truths about where meat comes from. My three-year-old daughter, they said, was "scary"."

!!!! Can you believe this malarky? Well, I can.

It made me think of this occurance from a day care when I was about 5 years old. It was around thankgiving, and my daycare brought in a live turkey to show all the kids. Well, when I saw it my first reaction was to point at it and enthusiastically shout "Dinner!" to which the care-taker got very upset about, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I mean, it wasn't as if I had just insulted her, but from the way she was reacting one could have sworn that I had. She pulled me away from the other children, after her attempts to shush me had failed. "Shuuush!" she said. I replied, "but... that's a turkey. You eat it, and it is dinner, right?" and like I said, after that she was shaking her head and pulling me waya from the other children, inside, to call my momma.

Now, if you knew my mom, or even if you know me, you might guess that my mom took a very liberal approach to raising me. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING was kept secret from me, from babies' origins to that of meat; I knew what was going on with everything I could wrap my young mind around and some things I couldn't from the time I could talk. Of course I knew what turkey was! It was yummy and you ate it if you could afford it! Well, no, the care taker of my day care was sure that I was traumatizing the other children, and that I was just being downright awful about this, to such an extent that she called my mother and had her some down there by only telling her that I was 'disturbing the other kids.'

My momma races down there and upon arrival asks what I have done, and then the daycare lady explains. This was so priceless I will always remember it. My mother, bless her heart, stared at the lady blankly for a moment, stunned that she could be so flat out ridiculous, and then proceeded to berate her. "How DARE you try and confuse MY daughter! Turkey is a godamned PREY animal, and unless everyone in this building is a damn VEGETARIAN, they're going to be eating some godamned TURKEY in a few days, and DAMN happy to do so! Fuck you, Lady (I loved how my mother could turn a word like Lady into an insult) for telling my daughter there is something wrong with her for knowing the truth, and fuck you for getting me all worked up thinking my daughter had actually done something bad! I want you to know, damn you, I'm going to take her out for ice cream for being a bright little ray of perfect sunshine!" And she took my hand and we stormed out of there.

She got me a slushy promptly after that. (Also, I want you to know, that was my last day at that particular daycare.) All the while she's explaining to me that some people are just hopeless, and you had to just let it slide. Unless, of course, they are fucking with your little froglet, and then sometimes you have to cuss them out. But that's for mommy's to do, she made that clear enough, not for little froglets. Cussing for froglets was restricted to the home only, even though I didn't even do that till I hit teenager-dom.

It still irritates me to this day that people could ever think that children are to somehow benefit from being kept in the dark as to the origins of meat and other things. I hate it that people could ever think it's-what word did they use- oh god, TWISTED, to tell your children where their meat comes from. Damnit, this is how kids end up so fucked up! They're so far removed from the reality of the earth and how we're SUPPOSED to be in harmony with it, and then they don't even have a clue that that's why they keep searching for something they haven't got the faintest idea about. They spend their lives trying to fill in these gaps and it never works, because they don't know what the gaps are really about.

Whew. I wish that every person out there had the benefit of my upbringing, being raised by my mom and attending a school like harmony in an awesome town like Bloomington, being surrounded by open minded loving people who want to help you, not hurt you, and show you the way of the world and how you can help it while it helps you. I know this sounds like a big hippy rant, and it is and I don't care. I have a lot of hippy in me, also some redneck, some gangsta, some girly-girl, some punk, some metal head, some flapper-among other things; I'm a modge-podge and I like it, and I wish that more people were raised to be more accepting of their places, their feelings, instead of tryng to fight them and what their true nature is. Fighting what they love so that they can end up having a job they hate for the rest of their lives, and a belly full of bullshit that is clogging their hearts and their minds. Ugh! Makes me sick!

Alright. There's my rant for now. I gotta go to bed, get some snugglins with mah love. Just had to get it out. I love you all, and I hope you're well and lovin' life. Know that I am!

mood: alright.

this makes me happy, very, because sometimes the streets of bloomington are filled with things like this (here's me trying to convince myself that I didn't waste 24 of my years ina worthless shithole that ate at my head)

mood: nostalgic